21 February, 2007

Green Tea: it Packs a Punch

[8:34:15 ] Jessica says: OH MAN! I gotta tell you what happened to me today!
[8:35:15 ] Kenny says: What?
[8:35:23 ] Jessica says: So, Kim had never been to the new Saigon Square
[8:35:31 ] Jessica says: and I wanted to get the computer bag
[8:35:31 ] Kenny says: No kidding.
[8:35:40 ] Jessica says: so we walked there
[8:36:04 ] Kenny says: yeah
[8:36:07 ] Jessica says: after hanging out at Highlands on Le Loi (but my stupid
computer wouldn't load any websites, grrr, so we left)
[8:36:22 ] Jessica says: so, the bag shop was one of the only shops NOT open
[8:36:37 ] Kenny says: you have to sign up for an account
[8:36:53 ] Jessica says: so Kim and I looked at souvenirish things, and then went to
Citimart upstairs to get some groceries
[8:37:13 ] Kenny says: Was the bag up there?
[8:37:52 ] Jessica says: (I did the password thing at Highlands and had a Very Good signal strength, yet it took a good 20 minutes for each page to load and since I had to do online form stuff for prescott, it wasnt worht it)
[8:38:02 ] Jessica says: ignore typos, I got sick of fixing them.
[8:38:04 ] Jessica says: so anyway,
[8:38:23 ] Jessica says: I buy some cereal and soymilk and a bottle of green tea, the kind with lemon
[8:38:33 ] Kenny says: ok.
[8:38:54 ] Jessica says: I notice that the bottom of the bottle is all ballooned out, but I figure it just got hot or something. In other words, I didn't think much about it.
[8:39:06 ] Kenny says: Uh-oh.
[8:39:39 ] Jessica says: So we paid for our groceries and are walking down the street chatting. We get to the corner where the little market begins, and I get out the tea bottle, and place my hand on the top and begin to twist..
[8:40:05 ] Kenny says: uh oh
[8:40:47 ] Kenny says: did the bottom fall out?
[8:40:57 ] Jessica says: All of a sudden a LOUD BANG goes off and Kim puts her hand to her head and screams and my right hand is hurt and there's tea f*cking everywhere, shooting into the sky like champaigne
[8:41:02 ] Kenny says: was there a mouse?
[8:41:16 ] Kenny says: Holy shit!!!
[8:41:29 ] Jessica says: Yes! Holy fermented tea!
[8:42:01 ] Kenny says: THAT'S AMAZING!!!
[8:42:04 ] Jessica says: It was gross and hilarious and scary. We could do nothing initially but laugh in this kind of shrieky way, and drip
[8:42:31 ] Kenny says: How's your hand?
[8:42:35 ] Jessica says: So a few seconds goes by and we're trying to put the events in order: the tea lid exploded off, throwing my hand back
[8:42:50 ] Jessica says: and the lid hits Kim in the side of the head, and she thinks she's been shot
[8:43:04 ] Kenny says: (rofl)
[8:43:21 ] Jessica says: and the tea is just splurting everywhere and stinking, and the xe om driver next to us has jumped like 5 feet
[8:44:03 ] Jessica says: So. we're like, what do we do now? my hand is turning bright red and I kid you not, there is a lid-sized circle on my palm
[8:45:12 ] Jessica says: So we walk back to citimart, dripping and giggling like crazy people. We go in and try to explain what happened. The security guard is really nice, and hands me a towel and tells a cashier to get me a new tea
[8:45:34 ] Kenny says: That is SO cool.
[8:45:57 ] Jessica says: when they bring me the new bottle, the bottom is curved out just like the last one. I point this out and express some concern, so the guard takes it and before we can do more than wince, he OPENS it. Inside. You can guess what happens next.
[8:46:11 ] Kenny says: NO WAY>
[8:46:14 ] Jessica says: Boom! And he gets even wetter than I did. Yes way.
[8:46:19 ] Kenny says: (rofl)
[8:46:22 ] Jessica says: There's a young kid who's been watching this whole thing who is explaining the situation to his mom, and they're both just staring at us, and there’s one male expat in line who’s just kind of pointedly ignoring the situation. But the guard is fine, he’s just wet.
[8:47:30 ] Kenny says: ((at this point I'm shrieking with laughter. Emoticons are doing nothing for me now))
[8:47:34 ] Jessica says: Finally they bring me another tea, and this one looks good, with a flat bottom. Just to be sure, the guard takes it... we take a step backwards and hide behind our bags... we wait... and nothing happens. It's fine. We walk home and laugh like shaky hyenas the whole way
[8:47:48 ] Jessica says: then we wash off.
[8:47:51 ] Jessica says: It was awesome.
[8:48:10 ] Kenny says: That is so awesome.
[8:48:11 ] Jessica says: (and now I have to blog about it!)
[8:48:27 ] Jessica says: it was truly scary for about a second and a half. I mean that was loud.
[8:48:39 ] Kenny says: Well, enjoy. Can't wait to see the finished blog.
[8:48:58 ] Jessica says: it might be this conversation, if that's okay with you. what do you think?
[8:49:02 ] Kenny says: "buyer beware" has a whole new meaning.


Anonymous said...

Jess...your latest blog both chilled me to the very soul of my being and had me rolling on the floor laughing....

I feel like I have just been sucked into the case of the exploding tea! (or thereabouts).

Hope you are well dearest!


chilly said...


chilly said...

That is hilarious! There is no emticon to express this hilarity! i especially like the IM format of the blog, because the little asides are funny too.

One time, at this crappy warehouse job I had, a newbie showed an experianced fellow a can of catfood swollen to near bursting. THe older guy says to the newbie, "I dare you to throw that against the wall as hard as you can." Five minutes later the entire warehouse was evacuated due to funk. That was how I learned swollen container = gross explosion.

Karen said...

My tummy hurts from laughing.

I'm on Flickr a lot.

Jessica K.. Get yours at bighugelabs.com/flickr