05 September, 2006

Varmints and Homesickness

I feel like crap.

We have rats, mice, cockroaches, ants and geckos in our kitchen. This morning I had ants crawling in my ceral box. I ate it anyway.

I was a sucky nanny today as I lost my keys (found em again), forgot the tennis rackets (but it rained anyway), forgot the id badge I need to pick up the kids (because Max broke it yesterday and I was going to tape it), and to make up for it I took the kids to parent/teacher night at school which lasted until 8pm and was not actually intended for kids or nannies.

My Uncle just found out he has cancer. My grandma is turning 90 and I'm not there. My brother is moving home again because (duh) his job doesn't pay enough for him to live on his own which means my Mom and Step-Dad have another mouth to feed, and I'm not there to help make any of that more complicated than it already is.

I miss the fall, I miss the mountains, I haven't been told I'm doing a good job yet and tomorrow is day 12.

And my neck hurts. And my roomate smokes inside. And this is all so much more difficult when you're so obviously an outsider.


Russell said...

Keep smiling Jess.You will be doing a good job.You will get your recognition if you keep going, it's inevitable.bad days just help us get better.Like James Taylor you can go back to Carolina in your mind!(and via e-mail as he says in the remix!) Don't look at it as homesickness, try see it as happy remanicing. see how you feel tomorrow

Paul said...

so i just wrote a nice little reply with words of wisdom, but blogger f'd up and said it couldn't post it, so i'll leave you with this. we all love you and be nice to the geckos, they eat all the creepy-crawlies smaller than they are.

the rocky mountains send their love.

Anonymous said...

Okay. F-word. This is my 4th try at a comment.

Don't be too hard on yourself, Jess. We all have spaz attacks, especially when we're out of our element.

Remember: you ROCK. (And anyone who believes otherwise can go eff themselves).

Joe said...

I must say that if the above comments can't see you through a bad day, then picture any one of the writers giving you a big hug (although no one hugs like i do dearest;), ignore the annoyances of the creepy crawly variety (i am sure in some parts of the world, ant cereal is a delicacy), and without wanting to sound to 'Jane Seymour'...."darkness comes, but the light of the soul can never be overcome"

Bad days suck, but re-read your own blog and remember how awesome it can be.

And if that doesn't make you smile, think about all us readers thinking how awesome you are!;)

Lodge buddies forever!

I'm on Flickr a lot.

Jessica K.. Get yours at bighugelabs.com/flickr